Freezing Time, Standing Still

​"Reality check - this photo of my family frozen in time saved me."

​If you're an entrepreneur and working on a startup, the feel of sand beneath your feet is something you may have experienced somewhere in a galaxy far away, a long, long time ago. 

You're probably spending countless hours in a coworking space, bedroom or garage [aka Steve Jobs and co] investigating consumer behaviour, developing minimum viable product [MVP] and conducting Beta testing.

You need to freeze time and stand still. You need a breather or at least a conversation with a friend to help release the pressure valve - and you need to do it now before it's too late.

Worse still, if you're hiding from issues you're not addressing, the intense nature of working on a startup may further exacerbate any underlying challenge. Hiding behind your workload is fraught with danger.

1 in 3 entrepreneurs experience depression according to a study conducted by Dr Michael Freeman, professor at San Francisco's University of California.

It's a high number which may have a lot to do with the level of self-expectation entrepreneurs place on themselves, Make no mistake, the pressures are real - they're called funding and time. 

Speaking to a retail tech founder in Melbourne recently, the pressure was evident. "Time is my enemy," he said. "Cash flow is the other." He continued to describe the reality of needing more time to further refine tech he has already invested four years in developing. "Refining the tech will help scale the project. But without the funds or more investment, the startup faces shutdown," he said.

With Series A funds fast running out, it's a race against time for this founder and many others in the same situation.

"The bigger the gap between where you are and your expectations of where you should be, the higher the stress," the Founder of 7 Cups of Tea Glen Moriarity told The Hustle's Breena Kerr in an interview last year.

Every founder has expectations of where their startup should be 3, 6 and 12 months down the track. These are milestone dates that represent progress. Not achieving critical pathways, combined with countless other pressures can have a negative psychological impact.

A couple of years ago during one of the craziest times in my life I was multitasking to the max. I was working full time, developing a startup, running a coworking space and engaged in the full swing of an election campaign.

I didn't realise I was on an unhealthy trajectory because my busy-ness hid it.

It was my wife who first noticed I wasn't having any downtime. It was go, go, go. "You're not giving your body or mind a chance to recover from the big days you're having," Chrystal said.

"I'm fine," was my response. "No, you're not," was hers. Always quick at comebacks.

It was a Saturday morning when we had this conversation and I was in the study working between my laptop, phone and writing in my notebook.

"We're going to the beach," she declared. "The kids and I ready and we're waiting for you in the car."

We had numerous similar conversations in the preceding weeks and I always managed to justify my actions or placate the situation.

This time, I wasn't given much choice, I had to walk away from the work that consumed me and ready myself for the beach.

It was the tail end of spring and the weather was super mild. The boys and Chrystal kicked off their shoes and ran towards the water as soon as we arrived.

I couldn't keep up. I sat down and just watched them running and jumping with such energy and exuberance. The joy. The laughing. That's when I realised. She was right. I hadn't been looking after myself. Although I may not have been clinically depressed, I had become withdrawn, joyless and all consumed.

Here I was, watching my family be in the moment and I was so physically exhausted, I didn't have the energy to interact. All I could do was sit by the sidelines and watch.

I needed to step away to gain perspective and I needed somebody to help me do it. Sitting on the beach I realised how I isolated I had become and the precarious road I was travelling.

That's when I snapped the photo above. It wasn't posed - just a moment captured. This one photo that may have saved my life. A photo that captures an important lesson. A reminder to freeze time and stand still. A reminder to have a conversation when I'm feeling overwhelmed and do the same to my friends and colleagues around me.

We should never be too busy to get sand on our feet, go for a swim or just have an open conversation over coffee about how we feel. We should never create a situation where we become slaves to our startup - that's not healthy for anyone.

Need to talk?

Beyond Blue
1300 22 4636
www.beyondblue.org.au